Like most Bucs fans, THE PESSIMIST was eagerly waiting for the NFL schedule to be released Tuesday night. THE PESSIMIST couldn’t wait to find out what night game the Bucs would play. THE PESSIMIST was going to hold a party that night, replete with a Mark Dominik dartboard, and invite all his friends.

It was going to be great!

THE PESSIMIST quickly became depressed and then angry and then bitter. What’s the hell?! No night games, not even a lousy Monday night game where Tony Kornheiser would be forced to come to Florida?

Why? The Bucs were 9-7 last year! THE PESSIMIST noticed Cleveland has two night games. The Browns!!! Who the hell wants to watch them outside of a bunch of dudes working Kennedy Blvd. in the middle of the night having wet dreams over Brady Quinn in drag?

THE PESSIMIST also noticed the Raiders have a night game. The Raiders!!! What, did Al Davis threaten to sue the NFL again?

It’s bad enough the NFL screwed the Bucs out of a home game so they can play in front of the British hooligans who could care less about football. Now in 2009 no night games for the Bucs?!

THE PESSIMIST is outraged!