These rumors of Chucky taking the coaching gig at Notre Dame come February are so crazy, it's enough to make Chucky himself scream.

Sometimes Joe can understand why much of America hates the fourth estate. The following is just such a reason:

Rumors — many fanned by Mike Florio of ProFootballTalk.com — are circulating that once national signing day passes Feb. 4, Notre Dame will fire Tuna wannabe Charlie Weis and hire Chucky.

These rumors are so absurd Joe doesn’t know where to start. Joe guesses that he will begin by documenting how he predicted these rumors last year.

On face value alone, the rumors are ludicrous bordering on insane. First, these rumors are doing a nice job of torpedoing Notre Dame’s recruiting. What recruit wants to sign with a school when the guy recruiting him will be gone as soon as the ink dries on his letter of intent?

Second, the moment Weis is fired, assuming the rumors are true — which is a big stretch of the imagination — how many of those recruits will decide to simply sit out a year in order to be released from their letter of intent, which is a binding contract?

Third, while it’s pretty obvious Weis is on thin ice, why in the world would Notre Dame want to follow a failed experiment of hiring an egomaniacal, alleged NFL offensive genius by repeating the same mistake with Chucky?

Fourth, the way players are starting to talk and information is beginning to float out of One Buc Palace, Chucky is a borderline pathological liar who is brutal on players. While Weis was tough with players in New England, the players didn’t want to beat him with a baseball bat like some Bucs seem to want to do with Chucky. Why would Notre Dame, which has had its image bruised enough already by Weis’ brusque, if not profane personality, want another such coach.

Then factor in how Chucky, who is still being paid by the Glazer Boys $5 million a year, would likely have to take a pay cut of roughly 60 percent to move to South Bend. Who in their right mind would do that?

Notre Dame likes to pride itself as above most schools in relation to academics and image. To cut loose a coach the moment players sign letters of intent — even a coach many Golden Domers would love to see have a door hit him in his massive rear end as he leaves the building —  would be the height of academic and athletic hypocrisy.

Notre Dame doesn’t want, doesn’t need and won’t pull such a stunt.

As Joe predicted last year, these Chucky-to-Notre Dame rumors would run wild and have as much validity as Joe claiming he will come home to find a scantily clad Bonnie Bernstein awaiting him.