The Bucs Need A Kardashian
June 18th, 2010
Joe’s about to start bashing his head against the wall. Joe can never remember being so frustrated.
And no, it has nothing to do with Rachel Watson not responding to Joe’s advances.
In the past two days, Joe has been in a virtual Soviet gulag.
Joe turns on the TV, there’s the non-basketball association.
Joe turns to Twitter and he’s assaulted with an avalanche of soccer Twitterings from otherwise reasoned people.
Joe even read a Twittering from Michael Lombardi of the NFL Network last night writing, “Now for the NBA draft… ‘
NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Joe tries to listen to local radio even and he still cannot escape. This world has gone mad — MAD I tell you! It’s nearly enough for Joe to storm a radio station. WE MUST TAKE THIS COUNTRY BACK FROM THE BRINK!!!
It’s getting to the point that Joe is starting to understand the mentality of David Koresh. A stay in Kolyma could not have been as torturous!
Joe’s world has become so unhinged, he’s actually logging extra hours at work — for free! — to escape this madness and electronic pollution as Joe has Sirius radio at work where the “King of All Media” Howard Stern, NFL Radio and Rivals Radio can bring Joe back to sanity.
(For the soccer sensitive: Joe does not hate soccer. Joe LOATHES having it crammed down his throat and treated like some illiterate neanderthal for not watching it. Let the undeveloped, socialist drug-infested third world countries have their kickball. Joe is a capitalist American, therefore soccer is a virus of the left.)
Good guy Tom Jones of the St. Petersburg Times seems to be one of the few sane people these days who have kept their roots in good old fashioned, traditional American values: football, baseball and hockey.
Jones brings word from cool cat Jimmy Traina of Sports Illustrated that the Bucs need a Kardashian, as a Kardashian means championships.
Forget finding a play-making receiver or a pass-rushing defensive end. What do the Bucs need? A Kardashian! As Sports Illustrated’s Extra Mustard points out, the Kardashian girls are a good-luck charm. Kim dated Reggie Bush and Bush’s Saints went on to win the Super Bowl. Kim’s sister Khloe married the Laker’s Lamar Odom and the Lakers won the NBA title Thursday night. But, the Bucs might be out of luck. Rumor now is Kim is dating Dallas Cowboys’ wide receiver Miles Austin, making the Cowboys the favorite to now win next year’s Super Bowl.
Joe can’t quibble with this. Any eyecandy is welcome. If it helps bring the Bucs a winner, all the better.
Joe is also confident Derrick Ward would also welcome a Kardashian to Tampa Bay.
June 18th, 2010 at 1:33 pm
My GOD! Kim K is far more beautiful than Rachel (sorry Rachel and Joe the stalker of Rachel).
WOW!
Joe you keep posting pics of Kim K and I’ll conform to anything you spew on JBF.
June 18th, 2010 at 1:38 pm
RahDomDaBest:
If Joe wasn’t so busy at work, he’d consider banning you for such seditious, slanderous comments.
June 18th, 2010 at 1:39 pm
Football will always be my #1 sport. Basketball though is my second favorite. I love baseball, but it can be tedious to watch it.
June 18th, 2010 at 1:39 pm
Well, if you can get a pic of Rachel in an extra tiny bikini bottom, then we may just have a competition.
June 18th, 2010 at 1:41 pm
Soccer is rigged by the way… the ref’s couldn’t let the US beat the top seed team now could they?
June 18th, 2010 at 1:42 pm
Ask for Rachel RahDomDaBest and you shall receive. In so many words that is.
June 18th, 2010 at 1:49 pm
With all the recent weight gain and loss rollercoaster stories associated with the Bucs, I don’t know if the Bucs would sign any of the Kardasians!
June 18th, 2010 at 1:54 pm
Joe, I’m imagining you have a basement, er, catalog, full of Ms Watson…uh..educational material, references and pin-ups.
(Of course, Ms could be Mrs these days.)
June 18th, 2010 at 2:04 pm
Joe has a shrine he updates 15 times a day of Rachel. Seriously Joe, if ANYTHING were to ever happen to her, you would be the prime suspect.
@oar LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
June 18th, 2010 at 2:18 pm
Ok… just wanted to give a parting shout out to KIM’s ace…. WOW!
no more replies by me…
June 18th, 2010 at 2:56 pm
I usually don’t care about these things, and I love the daily Bucs news dished here that we plebians simply cannot find elsewhere, but socialist virus of the left? Really? I’m sure people who are not fans of football believe that it is crammed down their throat when February comes around, and that happens every year. This GLOBAL event of soccer happens once every four… I don’t care for soccer, at all. But when the big dogs of the WORLD come and play, I think it’s quite a spectacle.
And isn’t Hockey more Canadian in its roots than it is American? Or does it belong to us since Canada is simply America’s hat? Just saying… I think you’re letting this sports stuff get to you a little, Joe. I sure hope we cut Clayton or sign Penn soon, something drastic to get your mind out of this proverbial gutter that is a void in Football related news.
June 18th, 2010 at 3:05 pm
RahDom — who was the “top seeded team?” Slovinia?
June 18th, 2010 at 3:18 pm
Plebeains or patricians never watched soccer!
June 18th, 2010 at 3:29 pm
Maybe I could get into the World Cup, if the USA ever could do better than 3rd place. Besides, 80 years is a long time to not place in the top 3 AGAIN!
June 18th, 2010 at 3:59 pm
Maybe the Kardashians are in with the Devil .. Reggie Bush wins the superbowl then has his collegiate title taken away and tarnishes his college alum. He is not a fan fav in Cali these days
June 18th, 2010 at 7:21 pm
Hey Joe – that’s what you get for tweeting all the time.
June 19th, 2010 at 11:53 am
Hockey is not an American Tradition…