Alex Smith Is The Black Knight
January 8th, 2021
Alex Smith.
This has to be the funniest, craziest comparison of an NFL player to a character in a comedy that Joe has ever read. And it’s damn accurate.
One reason Joe enjoys reading the words of Mike Tanier of Football Outsiders (among other sites) is his wide imagination. Joe is pretty sure only once has Joe ever read a reference to Spritle in a football column, and that came from the fingertips of Tanier.
Tanier was at it again this week on Football Outsiders when he compared Alex Smith to the Black Knight of Monty Python and the Holy Grail fame.
The Black Knight, as his name suggests, wears black and guards a bridge, from which “none shall pass.” Not even King Arthur. When the Black Knight tries to block King Arthur, a swordfight ensues. Despite King Arthur mutilating the gallant Black Knight so badly he loses all four of his limbs, the Black Knight continues to fight, scoffing at King Arthur that his wounds are “but a scratch.”
The Black Knight of the NFL will be Smith in the Bucs-Redskins game Saturday night. Wounds and all, he will battle to the bitter end to no avail.
In short, Tanier doesn’t know how the Black Knight Smith can prevail if his offense can’t score.
The template for defeating Brady’s Buccaneers without a functional offense was established by the Bears in their 20-19 victory in Week 5. It involved lots of pass pressure, of course. The Buccaneers also committed 11 penalties for 109 yards, many of them false starts and holds: if you can’t get to Brady, you can at least rattle the guys who must do everything in their power to make sure you can’t get to Brady. Creating negative plays on early downs, which flows naturally from forcing sacks and penalties, is also key: Brady got stuck in lots of third-and-forever situations in the Bears loss.
It’s easy to forget after the last few games how much of a workout the Brady Excuse-o-Matic got here in Walkthrough for the first three-fourths of the season: make life hard on Brady, and the Bucs are beatable. The last few Buccaneers opponents weren’t built to make life hard on Brady, or anyone else, really.
The template for the Washington Football Team defeating a quality opponent was established when Washington beat the Steelers 23-17 in Week 13. Washington’s defense ranks second in the NFL in fewest plays per opponent’s drive with 5.59 (the Steelers actually rank first with 5.48) and third with 1.74 points per drive. So even if Chase Young, Montez Sweat, and company don’t get to the quarterback — Ben Roethlisberger was not sacked in Week 13 — Washington forces lots of short drives, field goals, punts, and fourth-down stops: Washington opponents were just 9-of-24 on fourth-down conversions this season. Washington stopped the Steelers at the goal line once and forced several three-and-outs, keeping the game close enough for Alex Smith to spark a comeback simply by floating a few short passes over the heads of pass-rushers.
So it’s not hard to imagine a Washington path to victory. Unfortunately, Washington is not as good as even the Nick Foles Bears, Brady is not remotely as creaky as December’s version of Roethlisberger, and Alex Smith is the Black Knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail and may have to rotate with Taylor Heinicke on Saturday night.
To play along with Tanier’s theme, Joe doesn’t know how the Redskins will stop the Bucs unless Washington’s defense turns into the Knights Who Say “Ni” and scare the Bucs into committing massive amounts of turnovers and penalties.
At the end of the evening, though, it will be park-violating, home-invading, NFLPA-ignoring, down-forgetting, handshake-stiffing, jet-ski-losing, biscuit-baking Bucs quarterback Tom Brady who will hold the shrubbery.
Something nice but not too expensive.
(There. There’s enough “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” references to last another 13 years.)
January 8th, 2021 at 5:50 am
And no one liked Dennis Miller’s archaic references on MNF! đ đ€Ł đ
January 8th, 2021 at 6:02 am
“It’s just a flesh wound!”
Classic!
This isn’t complicated. “If you pressure ____(insert team QB here)___”, blah, blah, blah. It’s not specific to Tom Brady. Smith might be the “Black Knight”, but he will also be facing a pressure defense.
Bring the “Holy Hand Grenade”!
January 8th, 2021 at 6:11 am
Definitely a very funny scene indeed.
The Bucs definitely will face the unknown in the other QB for Washington that really nobody has any film on……that’s what I’m concerned about.
There’s been plenty of “no-named” QBs that have beat the bucs single-handedly……..and that’s what’s very scary about this game.
Then add Washington’s good defensive line……………….yeah………….a nightmarish scenario and a huge upset can occur very easily.
Since really no Bucs aside from JPP and Tom Brady has Playoff experiences………….it’s up to these two really to lead this team through.
I really really really hope they do not let Chase Young hit or sack Tom Brady………….I want Tristan Wirfs to make Chase Young pay for his comments………..put him in the dirt every single play.
January 8th, 2021 at 6:21 am
On September 22, 2012, Old Dominion University quarterback Taylor Heinicke threw for a Division I record 730 yards in comeback win against New Hampshire.
January 8th, 2021 at 6:25 am
âYouâre a loonyâ
January 8th, 2021 at 7:03 am
â… He said the Greek shall inherit the earth.â
January 8th, 2021 at 7:35 am
Woah woah woah, you mean Big Ben was NOT sacked, was âpressuredâ all game long and it was successful and lead to a WFT win? That is sacrilege on this blog!!!
January 8th, 2021 at 8:05 am
“Your mother was hamster and your father stank of elderberries”!!!
January 8th, 2021 at 8:10 am
I’ll have to start reading Tanier’s columns. That’s a funny reference and very apt.
Spritle? What about Jim-Jim? He was the real star there.
January 8th, 2021 at 8:11 am
Thatâs okay, Brady will throw the holy Hand grenade.
January 8th, 2021 at 8:26 am
We need to turn Chase Young into a newt
January 8th, 2021 at 9:19 am
Just re-watched The Black Knight v. King Arthur: No arms or legs…”Alright then we’ll call it a draw.” Funniest line ever!
January 8th, 2021 at 9:59 am
Passing Yards Y/Att Att. Cmp Cmp% TD Int
Brady: 4633 7.6 610 401 0.657 40 12
Smith: 1582 6.3 252 168 0.667 6 8
I am surprised no one is saying much about this. How about our D likely getting a few TOs? I think there is a good chance of that. Smith is JW.
Even if WFT’s D keeps Brady somewhat in check (even tho there run D is avg at best, so that is not likey), How can WFT offense keep up?! Its not possible.
January 8th, 2021 at 10:37 am
dont sleep on these boys!!!!
everyone is 0-0….win or go home…
GO BUCS!!!!
January 8th, 2021 at 11:07 am
Tanier forgot to mention the rest of the context around beating the Bucs without an offense:
– Play the Bucs on a short week
– Make sure Godwin and Fournette are out
– Play them before signing AB
– Have Evans hobbled by an injury
– Play them before Brady hits his stride in a new offense
I’m looking to see if Brady lights it up against a good D line. They’ll need the practice if they win and go on to face NO.
January 8th, 2021 at 11:11 am
I was always been a fan of his even before the injury. I think 49ers wouldve won a super bowl if they didn’t get rid of him for kapernick
January 8th, 2021 at 11:22 am
Omg Joe you are on a roll! Between yesterdayâs âShoot your loadâ article and this one I am literally lol!
January 8th, 2021 at 12:32 pm
“There are some who call me…Tim?”
January 8th, 2021 at 12:32 pm
Hopefully the Bucs make Washington so cross, they make a mistake!
January 8th, 2021 at 12:51 pm
After Arthur (easily) defeats the BlackKnight, and crosses the bridge….over a stream thatâs about 2 feet wide to begin with….his vanquished foe yells out…
âOh, running away, eh? You yellow bastard! Come back here and take whatâs coming to ya! Iâll bite your legs off!â
The WFT Iâm sure will try to be game, but they are simply outmatched and outgunned on both sides of the ball!
January 8th, 2021 at 12:55 pm
After the Bucs win Saturday night, they will be heard saying…
âAnd now on to something completely different….Lambeau Field to beat the Packers yet again!â
January 8th, 2021 at 3:11 pm
Love the Holy Grail references.
January 8th, 2021 at 5:36 pm
I just watched Holy Grail last weekend for the first time in at least a decade
January 9th, 2021 at 4:32 pm
Playoff experience far exceeds Brady & JPP. How about Gronk, AB, Suh? I would question how many on the WFT have PO experience. Ya 30 playoff games, 14 division titles, 9 superbowls, 6 superbowl wins, my guess is he’s never saw a defense as.good as the WFT. Brady’s crapping his pants right now. NOT!!!