The creator, curator and Mr. Everything at the popular RaysIndex.com is not only the premier Tampa Bay Rays blogger/analyst/wiseass fan on the planet, but a hardcore Bucs fan.

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Everybody relax, I’m here. This is The Professor in the Pork Chop Express, and I’m talkin’ to whoever’s listenin’ out there…

FIRST QUARTER (a look back)

You have officiated a few football games in your day…What are your thoughts on the “interception” at the end of the first half against the dolphins?

By the NFL rules, it was indeed an interception. But here is where the NFL tries to hard to control every single aspect of the game. They add all these caveats to the rules. Why? Because about 5 times over the course of the season, there is one of those “grey area” catches that apparently needs a specific rule. But the problem is, the alteration of the rule is messing with plays that are not in that “grey area.” Did Michael Clayton catch the ball? Yes. Did he control the ball? Yes. Was he down on the ground before the ball came out? Yes. How in the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks is that not a catch? That is a catch in every other league in the universe. Stevie Wonder knew that was a catch. But because the NFL is so worried about not having a specific rule for something that might happen on national TV in an important game, it is not a catch in the NFL…

THAT’S NOT FOOTBALL  

 

SECOND QUARTER (looking forward)

Ira Kaufman of the Tampa Tribune said this about Barrett Ruud: “…he has yet to develop into a difference-maker on the order of a Ray Lewis or even a Patrick Willis”…Why does this statement upset you so much?

C’mon Kaufman. I usually don’t pay much mind to these Q&As but this statement is borderline crazy. It is insulting to Lewis and Willis because anybody with a pulse knows Ruud will never be Rays Lewis or Patrick Willis. But more importantly it isn’t fair to Ruud because he will never be Lewis or Willis. Heck, he will never be Hardy Nickerson. But that is ok. He just needs to be a productive linebacker in the NFL, and making this throwaway comment is only going to set up the fanbase for even more disappointment…

RUUD DOESN’T HAVE TO BE RAY LEWIS TO BE GOOD  

 

THIRD QUARTER (outside the pocket)

The Bucs take on New Orleans this weekend at RayJay…What other game should Bucs fans pay close attention to?

Thanks to the Dolphins last night, the Bucs are still only 2 losses behind the Panthers for not-last place. Outside of the divisional standings, there are a couple of familiar names that could have their hands under a fat guy’s butt this weekend. That is Bruce Gradkowski starting for the Raiders against Cincy and our old friend Chris Simms might get the start for the Broncos against the Chargers. We were never the biggest Simms fans. I mean what kind of leader has the tattoo of another man’s initials on his leg? Still, we always kinda liked the kid and felt Gruden kinda did him wrong…

SAN DIEGO @ DENVER  

 

FOURTH QUARTER (no huddle)

Bruce Gradkowski is now the starting QB in Oakland…What does this tell us about Jamarcus Russell?

Yikes. It would be one thing if your backup was Daunte Culpepper or Matt Leinart or Vince Young. But when you are a former #1 pick and the coach thinks Bruce Gradkowski is a better option, that’s not a good sign…

THAT DUDE SUCKS  

 Is this interview with Josh Freeman the worst interview you have ever read?

I once saw somebody try to interview a gorilla. I think that had more substance…

YES

I tried to get Mrs. Professor to read this book for about a year and she wouldn’t do it. Turn it into a movie with Sandra Bulluck, add some sappy music and make up some fake gang drama and all of the sudden she is all “oooooo, that looks amazing!”

…UNFORTUNATELY

 

Gasparilla will never be Mardi Gras, but that won’t stop us from honoring Jose Gaspar..

GASPAR ALE