"Hey, man. Everyone will love and want me in my new headset."

C’mon, ESPN. You couldn’t do better for NFL fans than adding Chucky for Monday Night Football color analyst. Does anyone think the guy is going to be objective?

Chucky will take politically correct to a new level. Chucky’s not going to rip the Cowboys if they deserve it, or any other team that could have a job opening he covets.

And THE PESSIMIST doesn’t believe for a minute that Chucky wants out of the NFL.

 Hey, the Bills and Pats open the season on Monday Night Football, THE PESSIMIST is pleased to bet $100 that Chucky won’t talk straight about Joey Galloway. Hell, he’ll probably beg the producers not to even ask him about Galloway.

Chucky will use this gig to try and repair his image with players around the NFL and schmooze owners and GMs across the league. It’s a brilliant move for him. There’s not a better forum for him to do it and get paid handsomely. Nice gig, Chucky.

Sure, Chucky is a big name who showed he could hang on TV during his NFL Network stints, but he’s not the guy to come on national television and call it as he sees it. ESPN has to know that. Shouldn’t that be No. 1 on the job description?

Monday Night Football already has a film junkie, ex-quarterback in the booth in Ron Jaworski. The only real value-add there with Gruden would be if he let his true opinions all hang out.

That’s not going to happen.