A local scribe masquerading as a columnist hints the Glazer Boys are not spending money on salaries so they can use the money for their soccer team in England. Consider the source: a guy who can't figure out how to write a different lead paragraph for his Monday column during the NFL season.

Tuesday, the newspaper of record in St. Petersburg ran a story typed by a columnist who has been writing the same tired lead paragraph each Monday of the NFL season for years. Said columnist decided to try his hand at finances.

He failed at that, as well.

Essentially, the columnist tried to add two and two together so the sum was five. In short, the columnist claims the Bucs have been significantly under the salary cap since the Glazer Boys bought a soccer team in England. A very expensive soccer team.

The columnist hints the Glazer Boys are siphoning funds from the Bucs operations to fund the soccer team. Joe has some observations:

* Good luck proving that.

* The Bucs have been under the salary cap because virtually each year the Bucs have tried to land a big fish on the offensive side of the ball in the free agent market. A home run hitter. This has never happened, largely because some speculate big name skill position players don’t want to put up with Chucky’s shenanigans.

* The fact the Bucs are under the salary cap in some circles is called “flexibility,” in case Bruce Almighty is able to land the big fish. That way said player won’t cripple the team in regards to the salary cap. As a result, the Bucs can add a player and do so without incurring the wrath of the salary cap gods.

Anyone remember the Bucs flirting with a fairly high-priced veteran quarterback who lives in Mississippi this summer? Thanks to Bruce Almighty’s flexibility with the salary cap, the Bucs could have landed said quarterback and not been crippled by the salary cap. That wouldn’t have been remotely possible if the Glazer Boys did what the columnist wants them to do.

Look, this not maxing out the salary cap would be an issue if the Bucs sucked. Last Joe has checked the past couple of years the Bucs have done well. No right-thinking Bucs fan can blame the team’s lack of recent postseason success (or December swoons) on not spending money.

Simply put, Bruce Almighty is a wizard with the salary cap. Joe thinks what the Glazers Boys are doing (or more specific, Bruce Almighty) is pretty darn responsible if not smart.

Maybe said columnist should spend his days off this Christmas polishing his Monday lead paragraph. The same tired, weak, lame paragraph he’s been writing for lo’ these many years.

If the columnist must crunch numbers, maybe he should look at his paper’s rapidly dwindling relevance much less plummeting ad revenue and then take a look at his lame Monday lead paragraph.

Could be an indirect connection there, ya’ think?