The Pessimist is impressed with former au pair Elin Nordegren, not Eldrick Woods

So Chucky arranged for Eldrick Woods to speak to the Bucs? Wow, color me… unimpressed.

Is there a more overrated “athlete” in the universe? I use the term “athlete” loosely because golf is no more a sport than darts or skeet shooting.

Sure, Eldrick (aka Tiger)  is good at what he does (how Stanford avoided being put on probation by the NCAA as a result of him negotiating with an agent while still on the golf team still amazes me). But spare me. Golf is no more a sport than curling.

I mean, what was Eldrick supposed to tell the Bucs? Was he going to show them how to block (I’ve never seen him block)?

Was he going to show them how to pass (I’ve never seen Eldrick throw anything but a tantrum)?

Was he going to show them how to run (I’ve never seen him run)?

Was he going to show them how strong he is (hell, he doesn’t even carry his own clubs!)?

Eldrick does, however, seem to know how to hire an au pair.

Maybe Eldrick was holding a seminar in media relations? That he could do. He could demonstrate to Dexter Jackson how to scream at photographers. “Eeewww! I heard a click. Ban that photographer NOW! WWWWHHHHAAAAAA!!!”

Or possibly, Eldrick could explain to Joey Galloway how to pump his fist and yell like a banshee. Somehow, I think NFL players already know how to do that.

Give me Deacon Jones as a motivational speaker any day!